I'm drunk on romance tonight
Out here just lost in your eyes
Your pink petal lips and your luxury hair
Like a female tall, dark, handsome millionaire

The moon she is smiling tonight
Bathing us like the streetlights
Let's walk hand-in-hand and turn into the park
We'll sit somewhere clean and count the stars

The park bench is invitingly lit
But a homeless guy's lying on it
I say "my good friend, can you please move your feet?
So my love and I can have ourselves a seat"

He asks me if I have spare change
I say I don't carry cash these days
Then turns to you and he asks with a slur
And I say "Hey, are you looking at my bird?"

So I punch him square in the chin
Then a steel toecap into his shin
Then grab him by his thinning but greasy hair
And smash his head into a post that's conveniently there

He falls to the ground with a thud
Wets his pants then coughs up blood
I think "Oh my God, have I just killed someone?"
And then look to you and realise you're gone

It just goes to show that these days
The dating pool's full of woke snowflakes
All I wanted was to show you I had balls
Don't blame me when you're next guy's a limp-wristed weasel

The homeless guy then move his head
It turns out he isn't quite dead
He says "you know there will be CCTV footage.
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't press charges."

So the tramp asks me to suck him off
To help him recover from the shock
So I get to work on his pissy trouser snake
And think "well, at least I'm not just another woke snowflake
Just another woke snowflake
Just another woke snowflake